Monday, February 23, 2009

How do we reach the people who have been mauled by shrews?


Ever stepped on a yellow jacket nest? You should try it!

No, really, you shouldn't. For your convenience, I present the things you should avoid in bold (excepting, of course, the word "bold").

Yellow jackets love to build their nests in forest detritus, such as leaf piles and rotten logs (so watch it). They are incredibly touchy, getting upset over the least little things, like a human coming along and flattening their home.

My story:

A friend and I had decided to do some trailblazing on a fine summer day. We started at a rocky bluff (see picture) and moved downhill. It was a hot day on a steep slope.

I stopped to catch my breath and admire the view. I would have taken a picture of said view had I not stopped to catch my breath whilst standing on a yellow jacket nest.

Having already experienced a yellow jacket swarm once before, I wanted to curl up in a ball and weep uncontrollably (no bold; weeping is perfectly acceptable).

Fortunately, adrenaline kicked in. I became strangely calm, almost detached from the situation. That lasted for almost a full second before the first sting came. Then I started shrieking.

My friend and I enjoyed a frantic scramble back up the steep slope, in the hot Pennsylvania summer, getting repeatedly stung by irate yellow jackets.

They chased us a good half mile. My friend made out alright with only 6 stings. I had 15. I still occasionally have nightmares about that day.

So, here's a question: what do we do with people who are legitimately afraid of nature because, say, they were once attacked by badgers, and so they wouldn't mind seeing a few more acres of forest get bulldozed? Has anyone had an experience in nature that was so awful that they won't ever go back? What do we do with them?

I loved hiking too much to give it up after the attack, but I never go trailblazing anymore except in the dead of winter. So we might start with gentle coaxing. Take the traumatized person for a walk along a well-maintained trail in a busy park where the risk of badger attacks remains low. Choose a trail that includes a waterfall or something equally spectacular. Try to slowly rekindle the capacity in that person to love nature.

Either that or get them right back into the saddle by dropping them out of a helicopter in front of a buffalo stampede (the "sink or swim" method).

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